Preparation

In the year 2022 (or 1973's vision of it), the world faces a food crisis solved by the Soylent Corporation. While we now know the dark truth about Soylent Green, this recipe celebrates actual sustainable eating with a vibrant, nutrient-packed pesto that's 100% plant-based and 0% people.

Making Your (Safe) Soylent Green

1. Bring a large pot of salted water to boil and cook the linguine according to package directions until al dente.
2. While pasta cooks, prepare the ultra-green pesto: In a food processor, combine spinach, basil, spirulina powder, pine nuts, and garlic. Pulse until roughly chopped.
3. With the processor running, slowly drizzle in the olive oil until the mixture becomes a smooth paste.
4. Add the nutritional yeast and lemon juice, then pulse to combine. Season generously with salt and pepper.
5. Reserve 1 cup of pasta cooking water, then drain the linguine.
6. Return pasta to the pot and add the pesto, tossing to coat. Add pasta water a little at a time until you reach desired consistency.
7. Serve immediately in shallow bowls, topped with halved cherry tomatoes for a pop of color against the intense green.

This pesto is so vibrant and nutrient-dense, you might actually want to eat it on Tuesday. The spirulina adds an earthy depth and supernatural color that makes this dish unforgettable—for all the right reasons this time.